Wironing for professionals. I’m fucking world class. Mo Farrah and Usain Bolt have nothing on me. I’m gold medal standard. I’m going to be on the BBC receiving my gold medal, head held high on the podium.
“And in first place, Totes – excellent Ironing whilst pissed up on wine.”
But I’m a bit sad….. I joined a new club yesterday because lots of people recommended it. It was a running club for mummies. I was so hopeful that I’d be welcomed but I’ve been ostracised already. I‘m not welcome. They deleted my first post. I was bewildered and hurt. Why would the fuckers do that to a world class athlete?
The twats don’t allow swearing on their page.
Miserable arseholes. What’s the world coming to? Wankstains!
Anyway – if you’d like to post anything about running with lots of swearing in it, you can do it on my page. You are also most welcome to post pictures of running injuries. The bastards don’t allow that either. I love a good wound.
Actually I’ve got a brilliant wound – it’s a chafing of my inner thigh. It bled and everything. I’m tempted to post it on the page that doesn’t allow such things.
If you want a good laugh, you could post pictures of blisters with caption like “that fucking hurts” or “mother fucker – what a blister!” On a page that encourages mummies to run but not swear. That will keep the bastard admin fuckers busy!
I just wanted to be accepted…….
I’m going to make a new page called “Run bitch Run”