Clever Trevor, Parenting, Ramblings

We were supposed to not be drinking

We were supposed to not be drinking but given that I’ve spent the day producing, directing, running, editing, procuring ingredients, filming and doing wardrobe for Bella’s “How to make brownies” power point presentation with video content, there wasn’t much chance of sobriety.

The star of the show had a diva strop when it was suggested that her video would look better if she had her hair brushed and brushed her teeth.

I pointed out that her contract stipulates that she can’t look like a skank.

She wasn’t keen on my over enthusiastic direction when I asked for “tits and teeth”. In fact she pointed out that she hadn’t got any tits and I was a shit momager.

Dangerous then got to work on her long maths with our new “Nigella” for two hours whilst I took the boys to a nerf gun party. He phoned shortly after I’d arrived at the party and whispered

“Wine, wine, bring wine back with you – I can’t cope! There’s no need for enforced sobriety on a Sunday when the sun’s shining and England won!”

“It’s got nothing to do with those things, you can’t cope with our daughter and maths, can you?”

Like the dutiful wife that I am, I picked up a bottle of wine for us on the way home and then another bottle for the dog and one more for good luck.

The boys had taken it upon themselves to have a competition to see who could get the dirtiest at the party. I made them leave their clothes by the front door and make their way to the shower without touching the walls.

And in other news

I’m thinking of starting a race for people who can run with Pugs. A Pug marathon of sorts.

So many people seem to be of the opinion that pugs can’t walk or run when they are very active little dogs. Pugs aren’t just fat cute little lap dogs. They are so much more than that.

Obviously they are fat little lap dogs too.

I’m thinking of “Run Pug Run”.

An endurance test for pugs that don’t conform to stereotypes.

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