We are live from the leisure centre.
We were early. We were early because Dangerous has taken Oscar to a football match and he dropped us off in my car. We now have no way of getting home, other than walking. It’s not far though. It’s only about one and a half miles away.
One and a half miles is the equivalent of Ted Running a marathon. I will have to pull him all the way home.
We have had nail polish Gate this morning.
Here are the facts.
I found nail polish on the carpet. There was a stain around the small blob of pale green nail polish.
Within reach of the nail polish was a bottle of nail polish remover. I have pointed out on numerous occasions that this is a serious chemical and isn’t to play with.
I accused the suspect of using chemicals.
The little shit denied it.
I’m now considering my options.
They are as follows.
1, Get some friends over, obtain some marbles and throw Said marbles at the bottle of nail polish remover. Hope to fuck that this is taken as intended and doesn’t result in an escalation of violence and ultimately end in the break out of world war.
2, Enter into lengthy but polite discussions known as diplomacy. I’m not known for my diplomacy though.
3, Set fire to the bedroom and tell everyone about it on Twitter whilst shouting
“Take that motherfucker. That is shock and awe! I told you not to fuck with me!”
Obviously this might burn the house down.
So far, I’ve just shouted a lot. Any other suggestions?
Top Zara sale £10
Coat Zara sale £20
Culottes Sainsbury’s £5
Boots Zara £39.99
Bag Kenzo H&M collaboration last year £39.99
Earrings £7.99 H&M. I’ve got them in two colours now.
Pray for me on the walk home please.