Parenting, Ramblings

Sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut. I will never learn…..

Sometimes you just need to keep your mouth shut. I will never learn…..

What sort of a deluded arsehole invites two of her little shits friends over for a play date, the day after the house was properly cleaned? I need to add that the house hasn’t been cleaned properly for quite some time. It wasn’t just clean, it was also tidy.

It’s not now….

I think that I’ve got “Mary Poppins syndrome”
A serious psychosis manifesting itself in a patient believing themselves to be a good parent. Symptoms include inviting multiple friends over to play and then trying to ensure that the house isn’t knee deep in lego and Nerf gun bullets. Being that all the children were male, I was also rather worried about my bathroom floor.

I have made two dinners because half way through my delusion, I suddenly became more self aware and realised that four little boys weren’t going to eat a casserole with mashed potatoes. I offered them the alternative of fish fingers and managed to feed them before they were collected. Twice last week, I managed to not feed children before they were picked up, resulting in the poor mother’s having to sit and wait while their child ate.

Thug Pug pissed on the floor and then vomited in his basket to bring me back from my altered state. His actions were rather like a matron on the ward slapping me around the face and shouting “pull yourself together woman!”

I’d like to point out that I don’t believe that mental health wards are full of matrons slapping patients around. I got this idea from “One flew over the cuckoos nest”

Chin chin and up yer bum