Last year, after writing a blog for over two years, I started a Facebook group called “Run Bitch Run”. This was after joining a different group that catered for Mums that run. The mums group weren’t keen on my brand of mental posts with swearing and so I promptly left after my inaugural post. The new group was a celebration of Running, swearing and boozing that encouraged wound shots because so many other running groups don’t. It also wasn’t just for women.
If you have followed my page for a while, you will know that the fall out of this group led to me getting really badly trolled because I tried to bring some order to the group and used humour to do this. The people that I was trying to bring to heel didn’t want to have humour used against them and threw it back in my face. This is all really rather boring but stay with me and I’ll get to the point.
Because I hadn’t learned my lesson with the Running group,I also started a group called “Fashion Forward Bitch” which led to pretty much the same problems. Lots of angry people that wanted the group to be something that I didn’t want it to be. I wanted the group to be about Fashion, bargains, and booze. I wanted it to encourage people to step out of their comfort zone and I wanted it to empower women, girls, men – whoever needed it.
I didn’t want it to be about people’s problems, kids, husbands or dating disasters.
As a result of these two groups, I have had threats, abuse, private messages from people to tell me where I’m going wrong, private messages from people to tell me why they hate me. You name it, I’ve had it. I’ve read some of the most ridiculous lies about myself and all because of a couple of Facebook groups that’s main aim was to help people. I started these two groups because they were the groups that I wanted to join and I thought that other people would too.
Because of the trollling, weird lies and deliberate misconstruing of my words, I’ve spent the last ten months wondering how and why certain individuals could twist anything that I write. As somebody who suffers from anxiety and second guesses all the time what people think of me, none of this has done me any good. I’m not stupid. I understand that not everyone likes everyone and not everyone agree with everyone. Nobody likes being criticised but I can live with criticism. It’s very difficult to live with people twisting your every word.
And I’ve seen pretty much, every nasty thing that people have written about me on social media because people screen shot it and send it to me. The people that did this had the best intentions. They were trying to show me what certain individuals were up to despite being in my groups but the end result was that I was left reeling. Worried what they were going to say next, second guessing how my next blog post could be highjacked and used against me. There’s not much that I haven’t been accused of. What I should have done, is just deleted the screen shots. I’ve spent the best part of a year making myself really anxious and a bit miserable because I needed to see horrible things that people had written about me. It’s like having a scab, you know that you shouldn’t pick at it but you do anyway.
I got up this morning and I’ve decided to start moving forward. I’m done with second guessing how people can twist what I say. I’m going to stop giving a fuck about nasty people who have too much time on their hands and have become bitter and twisted. Myself and the other admins of the two groups have worked out that all posts need to be admin approved in order to keep the groups true to what the initial concept was. If only, we’d done this in the first place, then I’d have saved myself a lot of trouble but we couldn’t have foreseen this, it’s just something that we worked out along the way.
I’d like to grow both the groups and I’d like the “Fashion Forward Bitch” group to champion small British designers.
In the meantime, I’m off to a group session on managing anxiety, I’m running and I’m going to stop reading anything negative written about me. I’ve worked out that the groups can’t cause me any more trouble if we keep them as they were intended to be and admin approved.
This last year has been a huge learning curve. I now know an awful lot about closed Facebook groups and particularly the psychology of them. If I’d known before I started the groups, how they’d pan out and how much work, they’d be, I would never have bothered but now that they are established and thriving, maybe it was worth it. The saying “What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” springs to mind.
I had stopped posting what I was wearing on a day to day basis because of some really savage and unnecessary comments. Some days, I get it right and some days I don’t.
I’m going to post what I wear every day. It’s what the blog was originally about. I’m going to stop worrying what a small group of frankly, bitter people are writing about me because they aren’t worth it.
If it wasn’t me, it would be somebody else.
I’d like to say a huge thank you to some lovely people who have picked me up and dusted me down when things have been bad. People who have given me a cuddle and told me to delete the negatives and concentrate on the positives. Everyone needs a cuddle off a friend every now and then.
You all know who you are.
Shirt Zara sale – last summer – getting its first wearing – under a tenner.
Jeans £5 Sainsbury’s
If I’d known that I was going to write that today, I’d have put something better on.