It’s Sunday. We are live from the pub. I can hear a child shouting that they hate their parent and that they are going to kill them from a nearby garden.
There is nowhere better to be than in the United Kingdom when the sun is shining.
Here are the top ten reasons to invite friends over and either sit in the garden or head to a beer garden, drinking wine/Prosecco/gin today.
1, it’s the bank holiday weekend!
2, the sun is actually shining! It never usually shines on the bank holiday weekend. The universe is trying to tell you something. Fucking get out there before the thunder storms start!
3, you really deserve it for you have been a very good person!
4, the ironing can wait because no fucker is going to school or work until at least Tuesday.
5, sitting in the sun boozing will boost your vitamin D production which you need for vitamin C absorption.
6, drinking wine in the sun is good for your soul. It will make you happy and everyone loves a happy person.
7, besides that’s what everyone else is doing! You really don’t want to be left out.
8, the washing/washing up/DIY will still be there tomorrow. Obviously I’m going to suggest that you do something similar very tomorrow.
9, the kids love a beer garden, as does the dog and the husband. Ok the kids don’t love it as much as they could do but in a minute, they will ask the waitress for the WiFi password.
10, you can pretend that you are on your holidays as you have a pint or a glass of wine with your full English.
We have been in the pub since 12.00. Please keep me up to do date with what you are doing as I slide into alcohol fuelled heat stroke whilst laughing about the people that have paid to go abroad. Obviously I won’t be laughing when we arrive in Wales on Friday and have to wear wellies and a wooly hat but at least, I’ll already have a tan!
Photos – I need photos.