It’s miserable Monday.
Day two of my self imposed sobriety due to my eating and drinking like an alcoholic great white shark on a feeding frenzy last week.
I got on and off the scales twenty seven times this morning and the six pounds that I have accidental gained are still there. Miserable fuckers.
It’s impossible to lose six pounds in a week, so how did I put six pounds on. That’s 18,000 extra calories. I’m sure that I didn’t consume that many extra.
Unfortunately my good work with the none drinking on Sunday has come undone. I found a massive Toblerone in the fridge. The Easter bunny brought three Toblerones for the three little shits which is funny because my three little shits don’t like Toblerone. It’s almost like the Easter bunny brought them for the alcoholic great white shark that’s rather fond of Toblerone. The chocolate bar was so big that, when I put the triangle shape of chocolate in my mouth, it was hard to shut my mouth. It sort of hurt the roof of my mouth.
Toblerone really need to sort their shit out. They could injure someone with the size and shape of their chocolate.I could come and do some consultancy work for them on the size of their pieces.
Dress Asos White
Very fetching sandals in city blue to celebrate their winning of something inconsequential – Doc Martens from TK Maxx £30
Totes is available for weight gaining tips.
There are so few people out there that do it as well.
Weight loss gurus are ten a penny! Every fucker is trying to be a weight loss guru.
Are you an actress looking to put weight on for a role? Need to gain a stone in a week? I’m your bitch!