Dear Totes

I’m afraid that I have done a terrible thing and let myself down

Dear Totes

I’m afraid that I have done a terrible thing and let myself down. A national newspaper paid me to sell my sisters out. I wrote an article being an utter bitch about my fellow women. It was cruel and callous. I made a paltry amount of money by willingly misunderstanding humour and self deprecation. What will become of me now that I have my 30 pieces of silver?

Anna May

Dear Anna May

I’m afraid you’ve fucked up big time. I’ve just finished feeding my little shits still frozen fish fingers and now I’m starting on the gin.

Now let me tell you….

I think that you might need to seek professional help from a good therapist. You aren’t a stupid woman. You are articulate and bright and yet you choose to write hateful things that I suspect you probably don’t even believe yourself. What are your motives for this? You claim in the piece to be a mother to four children. A mother should show empathy and compassion. What’s wrong with a little humour. You certainly aren’t stupid enough to think that the women that you mock actually are spending their days pissed on gin. People pissed on gin don’t write because they are pissed.

I’d like to offer some words of advice but it’s possibly beyond my remit as an agony aunt and parenting guru.

I hope that you got paid a lot for this piece. All the women that you put down are just normal mums chronicling their daily struggles in a humorous way. It can be hard being a parent. It goes without saying that it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful 20 percent of the time, hard work 60 percent of the time and bloody awful 20 percent of the time. They drive their children to parties, swimming lessons, extra tuition, gymnastics and karate. They clean up vomit and apply plasters. All the normal humdrum shit and god fucking forbid that they have a job and guilt. We are all different.
Some people enjoy baking and doing craft and some love their children equally and have no fucking patience for such shite.

In essence – we need to stick together. We are all different and we are also similar. We all doubt ourselves sometimes. We all think that other people have their shit a little bit more together than we have and we all want to be good parents.

You just denied all that when you took all those blogs so literally.   You know it’s a load of shit that you wrote so you need to write an apology.

Yours Totes.

And also Gillian (from Peter and Jane) and Naomi (from I know I need to stop talking) said you are a bitch too.