Parenting, Ramblings

Come and relax at the Totes Towers Spa… let me take the strain

And on the all you can eat breakfast menu this morning at Totes Towers…

  • Toast with jam
  • Toast with Nutella
  • Toast with marmite
  • Grapes, halved for your pleasure
  • Hot chocolate
  • Weetabix with gently warmed milk
  • Pitta with hummus

Relax in the Totes Tower spa where our well trained professional will wash your hair for you. Can’t be bothered to wash your willy or bum, don’t worry – she’ll do that too.

Laundry service, we offer a full laundry service at no further cost.

Facilities – Relax in the playroom with the Xbox, twat your siblings with sharp implements or simply wander around throwing stuff on the floor so that the staff will have something to pick up.

Got somewhere to be? Our experienced drivers will get you there in style in the hotels smelly Nissan.

Yes come and relax at Totes Towers. Let Totes take the strain.

Your leisure is our pleasure.

Trip Advisor rating 5 out of 5.

See customers reviews

Mr A Dangerous
A good clean hotel with excellent facilities however the manager is very surly.

Master A
Good breakfast – sometimes let down by staff.

Master A
Alright.