Category Archives: Offers & Discounts

Sunday is sponsored by The Lakes Gin

Sunday is sponsored by The Lakes Gin

https://tinyurl.com/y98mkw9b

Sunday is sponsored by The Lakes Gin. I normally Wiron on a Sunday but today we have had an epic battle of wills and I have won, so im celebrating with GIN! I can’t think of a word for ironing with gin but I’m sure that I will.

The Lakes Gin is very nice gin, in the prettiest bottle that you ever did see. I get paid a tiny little commission if you buy some – so we really are sponsored by The Lakes Gin.

I have always dreamed of having a Gin sponsorship deal and I’m now ecstatic.

Dangerous is cleaning my car out. He has never cleaned my car out, EVER!

He has never cleaned his own car out, EVER!

He asked me how he could help out since he went to a stag do last night and I had to take the boys and Trevor to football this morning for two whole bastard hours. When I asked him to clean my car out, he went a very pale, ill colour. He agreed to it and then spent the next two hours trying to wriggle out of it.

To give you an idea on Dangerous’s attitude to cleaning cars out, I once cleaned out his car and realised that the last time that it had been done was approximately two and a half years before when I last did it myself. He doesn’t even take it elsewhere to get it done, he simply waits for me to offer to do it. The only reason that I offer to do it is because I feel physically fucking sick travelling in it.

Last night we had a sleepover for four girls that turned into three girls. The last time that I went up to see them, it was 1.00am. I am knackered

Yesterday we had a party for 17 six year olds. One of the guests got lost and went to another party at the same venue but I rescued him despite looking like a child snatcher.

“Do you see that child there? I think that he is supposed to be at Teds party”

Said the weird interloper trying to see a child’s face who had his back to her and was tucking into some chips at another kids party.

Eventually once I had sulked so much that even Dangerous realised, he said that he’d clean my car out.

I had a face like a slapped arse. I had kept it like that for the whole two hours that he had been trying to get out of cleaning the car out. It took him 10 minutes to clean the car out and I had to tell him that he’d need a hoover and take the cleaning products out to him.

I clean my car out about once a fortnight but it looks like I do it once every bastarding two years as I have three little shits and Trevor the Thug Pug.

The lakes Gin, It’s fucking lush.

Dangerous might be dead when I see my apparently clean car.

Chin chin fashion forward bitches. Up yer bum.

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?”

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?”

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?” “Well I’m glad that you asked. I’m wearing a Zara skirt that has shirt sleeves attached to it £25.99 last week, a navy vest H and M that smells of Trevor and red Fly London shoes from www.shoetique.co.uk. Try TOTES15 if you haven’t already.” “And Totes please… Continue Reading

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza and orgy of extra cuticular activities. Tomorrow as always (apart from when I’m hungover to fuck) I will be frantically dashing towards the family changing rooms of the local leisure centre at 8.35 for an 8.30 start with the three little shits moaning and possibly even crying… Continue Reading

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day. I’m afraid that ”tis discontinued but there’s an almost identical one which you can get £10 off if you use TOTES10 as a discount code on the website. https://www.lagenluxe.co.uk/…/agenna-stripe-roll-neck-asy…/… Aaaaaah Bollocks Dangerous has been fucking with my phone again. The guide to wooing women by Dangerous. Gentlemen let… Continue Reading