What I’m wearing…
Good morning, live from the leisure centre.
We were late. This goes without saying. Perhaps I should mention when we are on time.
I found a spoon in my handbag this morning. It must have been from the restaurant last night. I’m oblivious as to why it’s there. I did my let’s get drunk and then fall asleep thing. There are two outcomes to my adventures with alcohol. One ends with sleep, usually at the dinner table. The other ends with mayhem.
I was awoken at 5.00 by needing to wee. I don’t sleep very well when I’ve had one too many and so I listened to Dangerous snoring for an hour whilst being in desperate need of fluids but being too lazy to get up. At precisely 6.00 two of the little darlings demanded the customary game of I spy in the dark.
The rules to this game are many and varied.
The object can be anything. You don’t have to be able to see it. It doesn’t necessarily have to start with the letter that has been decided upon.
“Something beginning with d.”
“Dummy, dog, dinosaur.”
“Do you give in?”
“Yes what is it?
“Jay from ninjago.”
“Why didn’t I get that one? I am so stupid.”
“Yes you are stupid. You never guess them.”
Donald Trump should reconsider his options for torturing suspects. Water boarding is old school. All the best dictators are now into swimming caps. An effective torturer just needs to procure some none talcum powdered swimming caps that are a bit stuck together.
“You want some more?”
“Aaaaaaggghhhhhhh aggghhhhhhh no I’ll tell you anything you American bastard. Just stop with the hat.
Later we are going to bake with Juju. This will be a very jolly thing to do. I can’t see what could go wrong at all. Three children, eggs, flour, butter and chocolate. I’d better check that our insurance is up to date.
Oooooh and Ted got up this morning and said that he wants to go shopping for a new hat. Ted is definitely my child. A 5 year old that wants a new hat is just a perfect child for a woman like me. I think that he might be conning me so that we go past the toy shop but I’m still so very proud of the cunning little darling.