Category Archives: Technophobe Totes

Day two of our big Wales adventure has seen sun. Sun and sulking…….

Day two of our big Wales adventure has seen sun. Sun and sulking…….

Day two of our big Wales adventure has seen sun. Sun and sulking…….

Everywhere in this beautiful United Kingdom of our is better with the sun out and Beaumaris is no exception. After crabbing we have had the obligatory ice cream. We are cramming as many cliches in as possible. We have done Fish and chips on the beach, ice cream cones, crabbing from the pier and had a row over whether the little shits needed a nap. Dangerous won the argument as he let them get up again when I went to get kindling and firewood in a wheelbarrow. I have taken well to glamping but FatFace was a step too far. I went into the shop today as I haven’t brought any warm clothes. I thought that if they had anything warm that was in the sale, I could use it for dog walking. I was thinking a gilet or nice sweat shirt. The trouble is that I’m so fashion forward that I don’t even think that I could dog walk in that stuff. Imagine if anybody saw me! They’d say “ooooooh is that Totes walking Thug Pug?” Their friend would reply “Fuck off she’s got a middle aged sweatshirt on. Totes wears PVC trousers and slogan tees!”
Never mind, I’ll just get pissed in the hot tub whilst I sulk and the children argue because they are so over tired. The little bastards got up at 6.00 after going to bed at 9.30…..

Holiday…..a holiday for who? Fuck me and pour me a large gin.

Chin chin fashion forward bitches.

My bastard battery pack for my phone worked this morning so that my phone was charged to 30%. It’s now dead. 10 fucking hours that took to charge.

www.wonderfullywild.co.uk

I’d like to point out that I’m not being paid to promote this enterprise but it’s so nice that, it would be rude not to give them some nice publicity. Apparently it’s hard to make money from farming these days so the farmers have to think of clever ways to make money. What’s cleverer than glamping? Clever bastard farmers.

I’m going running with our host tomorrow morning.

Holiday in the U.K. Because the pounds fucked.

I fucking hate this computer

I fucking hate this computer

I fucking hate this computer. I hate it so much. I can’t do anything on it. It took me 4 attempts to open my Emails. I had to phone Dangerous to ask him for his ICloud password. I need to open a specific email. I scroll to where it should be and it’s not there.… Continue Reading

Happy Easter

Happy Easter

Happy Easter. We got up at 5.20. The Easter fucking bunny has a lot to answer for. It had literally shat chocolate everywhere. My bloody Pages app on my phone is broken so that I can’t upload or download (I’m not sure on the correct terminology) photos from my phone. I have been swearing all… Continue Reading

Chin Chin on a Thursday

Chin Chin on a Thursday

Chin chin on Thirsty Thursday before the Easter bank holiday weekend. I’ve not been trying hard enough with the boozing this week so I thought that I’d pour myself a large one tonight. I’m going to have a bath in the fucking glass. I’ll be doing the breast stroke shortly. It’s not my fault that… Continue Reading

Hurrah ’tis Twatted Tuesday

Hurrah ’tis Twatted Tuesday

Hurrah. ”Tis twatted Tuesday. A day in which to drink copious amounts of Sauvignon Blanc whilst the rest of our country watches Micky Flanagan on The One Show. Personally I think that I would make an excellent presenter for this programme. It’s lost it’s way. They have never got it right and I am available… Continue Reading