Category Archives: Offers & Discounts

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?”

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?”

“What are you wearing on t’plane plane Totes?”

“Well I’m glad that you asked. I’m wearing a Zara skirt that has shirt sleeves attached to it £25.99 last week, a navy vest H and M that smells of Trevor and red Fly London shoes from www.shoetique.co.uk. Try TOTES15 if you haven’t already.”

“And Totes please tell us, how much you have managed to get in your hand luggage?”

“I’ve got fucking loads, 4 pairs of shoes, 5 handbags, and enough clothes for a fortnight”

“And one last thing Totes, please tell us what’s the first rule of Totes Bitches on tour?”

“Aaaah I’m glad you asked, it’s simple – no photos of anybody in bikinis and anything else goes. Lock up your Spaniard men and get the gin out!”

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza

”tis the night before the leisure centre extravaganza and orgy of extra cuticular activities. Tomorrow as always (apart from when I’m hungover to fuck) I will be frantically dashing towards the family changing rooms of the local leisure centre at 8.35 for an 8.30 start with the three little shits moaning and possibly even crying… Continue Reading

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day

Oooh it’s a Lagenluxe kind of day. I’m afraid that ”tis discontinued but there’s an almost identical one which you can get £10 off if you use TOTES10 as a discount code on the website. https://www.lagenluxe.co.uk/…/agenna-stripe-roll-neck-asy…/… Aaaaaah Bollocks Dangerous has been fucking with my phone again. The guide to wooing women by Dangerous. Gentlemen let… Continue Reading

Opening new shoes

Opening new shoes

Live from Totes Towers and opening new shoes. Do you want a discount code? – oh go on then. It’s TOTES15 https://www.bellsshoes.co.uk/fly-london-m101 Live from Totes Towers and opening new shoes. Do you want a discount code? – oh go on then. It's TOTES15 https://www.bellsshoes.co.uk/fly-london-m101 Posted by Totes inappropes on Tuesday, 25 April 2017 Continue Reading