Category Archives: Clever Trevor

How does one stay fashion forward whilst walking a dog?

How does one stay fashion forward whilst walking a dog?

How does one stay fashion forward whilst walking a dog?
I don’t think that I’ve got it right. Trevor seems embarrassed to be seen with me in my wellies.
He’s busy sniffing lady dogs bits and trying his very forward seduction techniques on them.
I think that if he could talk we would hear him say

“Come and look at my sausage! You want some? Just pass me something to stand on so that I can give you my famous sausage surprise!”

He says it to the boy dogs too.

We are camping near Beaumaris.

We are camping near Beaumaris.

We are camping near Beaumaris. I call it camping but it is so much more civilised than that. The accommodation is excellent but no fucker got my memo about the weather. As such, I’m freezing. If it stays like this, I’ll have to go and buy more clothes. The only practical thing that I have… Continue Reading

National Trust

National Trust

National Trust Good morning, we are live from the leisure centre. When I say live, I mean sort of live (shuffling like a zombie) as we’re a bit hungover. The little shits aren’t hungover but I am and I suspect JuJu is but she’s being a stoic bitch. She needs to be…. Yesterday saw a… Continue Reading

All I can say is “who the fuck would be an estate agent in Manchester City centre during August?”

All I can say is “who the fuck would be an estate agent in Manchester City centre during August?”

All I can say is “who the fuck would be an estate agent in Manchester City centre during August?” Fucking rich students with no manners that can’t be arsed to turn up for viewings and are shocked when you phone them. Today’s winner of tosser of the day was somebody who asked me to wait… Continue Reading

Tonight we salute Trevor with his new found big pink willy

Tonight we salute Trevor with his new found big pink willy

Tonight we salute Trevor with his new found big pink willy. Chin chin Trevor, you special Mofo. My eldest is particularly horrified and keeps screaming “Make him stop it.” Lock up your bitches and remove your legs from the floor if that’s possible as Trevor has started humping. He especially likes dogs that aren’t interested… Continue Reading

It’s disco night at Totes Towers

It’s disco night at Totes Towers

It’s disco night at Totes Towers. I’ve finally finished the decorating. Fuck me that was hard work. I had to bribe the little shits to look after Trevor to get finished today. Ive painted lots of things grey. In 5 years, I’ll look around the house and shout “I fucking hate grey. Who the fuck… Continue Reading

Shit to get done today.

Shit to get done today.

Shit to get done today. Redecorate bedroom after picking up paint. I’d quite like to go to IKEA but I haven’t got time so I will have to stop myself from setting off to go otherwise nothing else will get done. Mmmmmm new wall lights Attend the supermarket to procure food for my darling little… Continue Reading