Monthly Archives: August 2017

Totes in peril

Totes in peril

Totes in peril

Dangerous looked scared. His mother had always warned him not to set up home with that gold digger. Unfortunately he hadn’t listened and now he was at his wits end. Not only had he set up home with her but he’d actually married the miserable old battle axe and had fathered three grabbing little shits with her. The kids weren’t all bad but they were very much their mothers children when it came to money.
The reason that he was so worried at the moment was that she had very nearly bankrupted him again. This was one in a long line of financial disasters.

“We’ll just go camping to Wales darling, it won’t cost much. Of course if I had married better, I could be going all inclusive in Mauritius!”

Now that they were in Wales, she had hatched a plan to stay on for longer by renting a holiday cottage. He nearly fainted when he heard the plan. His mutterings had been ignored and the beautiful cottage had been booked.
Dangerous was a simple man with simple tastes. All he wanted to do was sit in the pub watching football. He wanted to take his boys to football practise and he wanted to wear his scruffy old hoodie without somebody whinging at him.
He looked sadly at his favourite Barbour jacket that she had told him that he looked like an old man in. He wasn’t allowed to even wear what he wanted to.
He stroked the dog that his wife had insisted on getting and plotted her downfall. If only she wasn’t around, he could do what he wanted. He could wear what he was comfortable in and the children would be better behaved. He was certain that even the dog would be less of a little bastard if she were out of the picture.

He googled the question “how much does a hitman cost?” And quickly erased his search history

“Fuck me! That’s cheap. It would pay for itself inside three months if I hadn’t got her leaching me for every penny. She drinks like a fucking fish, I’d save it on booze alone, never fucking mind her Zara spending habits.
He looked out at the beautiful scenery and made his decision.

Tomorrow, will Totes make it? Has Dangerous hired a hitman? How fucking cheap is a hitman? Maybe he will realise that she’s not so bad after all…….

www.wonderfullywild.co.uk where Dangerous plotted his wife’s murder.

We are camping near Beaumaris.

We are camping near Beaumaris.

We are camping near Beaumaris. I call it camping but it is so much more civilised than that. The accommodation is excellent but no fucker got my memo about the weather. As such, I’m freezing. If it stays like this, I’ll have to go and buy more clothes. The only practical thing that I have… Continue Reading

Forget racism, sexism, global warming and Brexit!

Forget racism, sexism, global warming and Brexit!

Forget racism, sexism, global warming and Brexit! The questing for Bank Holiday Monday that needs answering is suede clogs? Surprisingly supportive and comfortable. Fashion forward bitch or deluded Middle aged Mofo? It’s always hard hitting news worthy stuff here. I’m not afraid to tackle the big issues! The price of parking at National Trust properties,… Continue Reading

National Trust

National Trust

National Trust Good morning, we are live from the leisure centre. When I say live, I mean sort of live (shuffling like a zombie) as we’re a bit hungover. The little shits aren’t hungover but I am and I suspect JuJu is but she’s being a stoic bitch. She needs to be…. Yesterday saw a… Continue Reading