I have pulled my sorry hungover arse out of the house to take the little shits to Pizza Express in Hale. We lowered the tone and generally adversely effected properly prices by parking the smelly Nissan on the main road and looking in the estate agent windows. The little shits like property porn as much as we do. They decided that they wanted the house in Lymm with the swimming pool at £2.5 million as it had a swimming pool. My taste is far better though. I spotted a Victorian villa in need of modernisation and only £1.65 million.
We went into Pizza Express and lowered the tone in there as well. Oscar wrote “don’t mess with me” on his hat whilst Bella wrote “don’t judge me”. The waiting staff in Pizza Express most probably own most of the properties in the estate agents windows. They are fucking coining it in. In my next life, I will open a Pizza restaurant in a well heeled suburb of Cheshire and the little shits can have a massive swimming pool.
There was the usual punch up on the way out as Bella wound Oscar up and Oscar decided to put his boxing skills to the test. He landed a good right hook. We are thinking of sending him to boxing lessons. We do need a bigger house with a pool and I’ve heard that the prize money for last nights fight was £15million. I’d have got in the ring for that money.
Shit the bed. I’ve got my 20 mile run tomorrow so my body is a temple. It’s obviously a temple that eats gigantic pizzas and chocolate brownies. I gave up on the gluten free after 1 week. I did lose 5 pounds though which is hilarious as I’m sure that I look bigger around the tummy than ever before.
Dress warehouse £30
Boots Zara £30